Ever been snapped by a Speed Camera?

Last week I was away in Staffordshire with Colette and Josiah - at our Church Bible Week. It was fantastic. The weather wasn't great but, unlike many other people who were in tents, we were in our caravan warm and dry.

What I did notice a lot of in Staffordshire is Speed Cameras. Fortunately I didn't get snapped by any - well I wouldn't, would I, being someone who doesn't speed (!!!). Today I came across the following - the top ten best excuses that Northumbria Safety Camera Partnership has been given by people they have snapped going over the odds on Northumbria's roads. Enjoy ...

1) I had passed out after seeing flashing lights, which I believed to be UFOs in the distance. The flash of the camera brought me round from my trance.

2) I was in the airport's flight path and I believe the camera was triggered by a jet overhead, not my car.

3) I had a severe bout of diarrhoea and had to speed to a public toilet.

4) There was a strong wind behind my car, which pushed me over the limit.

5) My friend had just chopped his fingers off and I was rushing the fingers to hospital.

6) The vibrations from the surfboard I had on the roof rack set off the camera.

7) I had to rush my dying hamster to the vets.

8) A violent sneeze caused a chain reaction where my foot pushed down harder on the accelerator.

9) There was a suspected case of foot and mouth and I had to rush to see the cow concerned.

10) The only way I could demonstrate my faulty clutch was to accelerate madly.

Have a great day ... and drive carefully!

Blaine's Story

Hey. An interesting one today. I was told about this
website the other day, and had a look. It seems to have some great stuff on it! Press the play button on Media player and have a look at this video. If you like it, visit the website that it is from by clicking click here.

Quit complaining about your job

Here are some people who probably have it worse off than you ....

Or possibly this person?

What was that about personal space?

I'm surprised they're not wearing a hard hat, just in case!!!








And lastly, my personal favorite ...

Sunshine on a rainy day?

Remember Cliff Arnall? Who? On January 24th this year I
wrote about a psychologist from Cardiff University who had come up with a formula stating that January 24th was the worst day of the year. Well, he's been at it again - but this time a formula to prove that last Friday, 24th June, was officially the best day of the year.

In his project commissioned by the Ice Cream maker 'Walls', he concluded the following formula - O + (N x S) + Cpm/T + He. The variables are 'O' - outdoors and outdoor activity, 'N' - nature, 'S' - social interaction, 'Cpm' - childhood summers and positive memories, 'T' - temperature, and 'He' - future holidays and looking forward to time off. Dr Arnall said: "Happiness is associated with many things in life and can be triggered by a variety of events. Whether it's a sunny day, a childhood memory, or something as effortless as eating a delicious ice cream, I wanted my formula to prove the key to happiness can really be that simple." He had to mention Ice Cream, didn't he?

The reality of last Friday for many people, particularly in Yorkshire, was rain and flash floods though. Surely it wasn't sunshine on a rainy day for them? When asked about this Dr Arnall stated "This will pass - you do get summer storms and skin is waterproof". Very pastoral, Dr Arnall!

Make your own mind up on Dr Arnall's formula. I've made mine - never to buy Walls Ice Cream again! Whatever you decide, make today the best day of the year by giving 100% - stick in there and make a difference. And do the same every day, whether June 24th, or January 24th.

A Friday Thought

Many people try ... and fail. But worse than that, many people fail to try. All truly successful people have failed at some point in their life - faliures of varying magnitude. Successful people react to faliure in one easy step - get over it, leave it behind and move on. That's what makes them a success - the ability to move on and try again. Be a success today ...

April Fool

A bit of fun for the 1st April! Being a Church Leader, I've seen some interesting things in Church Notice Sheets. Here are some examples of some interesting ones - if you're part of a church, why not try and get one of these into your Church Notice Sheet as a bit of April Fools Fun!

1. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
2. Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."
3. Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
4. "Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."
5. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.
6. The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
7. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
8. The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing "Break Forth Into Joy."
9. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
10. Don't let worry kill you off--let the Church help.
11. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
12. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
13. Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
14. The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
15. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
16. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a Nursery downstairs.
17. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.
18. Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
19. The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.

Is this really a 'Good' Friday?

It seems ironic doesn't it? To remember the brutal murder of an innocent man in one of the most gruesome and painful forms of capital punishment in the history of our world as 'Good' Friday. It doesn't seem right.

Actually, 'Good' is exactly what that day was.

There's no way we can minimize the pain and suffering that Jesus went through. For those who have seen 'The Passion of the Christ', you will remember (if you hadn't closed your eyes by this point!) the punishment with the 'Cat of Nine Tails' - so called because it was nine leather whips connected together at their ends, each whip having sharp stones and metal intertwined into them. Each stroke of the whip would rip flesh from the recipients body - and 39 strokes of this which Jesus received will have left him bound to die through his injuries even before his crucifixion. Then there was the crown of thorns pressed into his skull. Then there was the crucifixion itself. Nails were hammered through each wrist - just in the right place so that the wrist bone would bring extra support so that the nail would not rip through the flesh. Then the feet would be placed one over the other and a single nail hammered through into the wooden cross. This was all done whilst the cross was lying on the ground. It would then be lifted into place and allowed to drop into its positional hole in the ground, and when it hit the bottom of that hole the body would have been jolted and wrenched, pulling joints and ligaments to shreds. Jesus was then left hanging - to eventually suffocate under the strain of his own body weight on his lungs, which were being torn apart as his arms were stretched to the limit. This is just the physical pain; I've not even mentioned the emotional pain, the total and utter humiliation.

The truth is - I will never fully understand what Jesus actually went through. Sure, we can 'know' the mechanics of what happens with a crucifixion. But I will never fully know what Jesus went through. In his death, Jesus took the punishment for every wrong thing that had and would ever be done by every human ever to live. He died to give every man, woman, and child an opportunity to know forgiveness - once and for all.

I have a friend who has recently accepted Jesus and the forgiveness that is offered because of his death. He often says to me - 'You know, I just don't feel any guilt anymore for anything that I have done wrong in my life'. That's what Jesus achieved through his death. Today, if you accept Jesus into your life, ask him to forgive you, and turn around 180 degrees from pleasing yourself to wanting to please him, you too can know what my friend experiences every day of his life. Forgiveness, freedom from guilt.

It doesn't end there, there's so much more that I could say. I've not even started talking about the coming back to life of Jesus! I don't have space right now. But to finish - today can not only be a 'Good' Friday for you - it can be the best ever in your life if you accept Jesus and what he has to offer you today. Have a great Friday!